Thursday, January 28, 2010

If we as adults have lost heart, if we are too old, too tired or too bitter to rise up,
then let the children run into the streets.

Let it be the children's voices we hear in our heads and feel in our hearts.

Look into the face of innocence and pray that you remember. Pray that they will have the courage and the passion to save us from ourselves.

The value of $125.00 yesterday for me was 2 1/2 hours of my already too full work day. For my staff member it meant a home. The roof she would be able to keep over her head because her rent would be paid. As she sat across my desk, the tears in her eyes gave way to her frustration, and then to the unfairness. The desperation and begging of her eyes for me to help her stung my heart. I had already approached soulless about her situation. I was met with the large black round of her eyes. I wonder if the DMV had wrote "Eye Color: Black" on the electronic form they fill out when you subscribe for your drivers license. My staff member had fallen in the kitchen at work the week before last. She had limped around for three days before I insisted she go to the workman's comp doctor on Friday. It was as I had suspected, she had torn the largest muscle we have in our leg. According to the employee handbook, these things are supposed to be covered one hundred percent, but then there is the issue of the small print. When I brought this matter to soulless, she told me that we should be happy for what we have, she sat emotionless and fidgeting to make her next social call, her usual comment to me, "I really don't have time...." My staff member had called our HR department, I say that loosely because remember it's only one person and her two administrative people. They had told my staff member to call the claims adjuster if she had any questions. The claims adjuster could barely speak English and was rude and had yelled at my staff member... Then there was the matter of her sick time. Last year they had reduced our sick time down to five days. My staff member is a single mother, it is January, this incident had already taken 1 and 1/2 of those days. I asked soulless how it could be that this work related injury could eat up my staff members sick time, time that she will inevitably need later the next time her baby boy wakes up with a fever. Soulless shrugged and gave me the we should be grateful speech.... Soulless whom had given me the "you know damn well we accommodate everyone ..." speech less than a week ago when my other delusional and disturbed staff member filed a complaint with HR because of her schedule. A schedule that Soulless had given the directive for, and the messenger was killed... I am outraged, I don't need another fight, but I can not let this go, I repeat over and over, "how can this be legal?" I guess soulless meant "you know damn well we accommodate who I feel like accommodating..." My injured staff member does not make enough money already to cover her rent, she takes in boarders. To take her sick time and dock her paycheck $125.00 is not something I can allow to happen, at least not without a fight...I'm sure soulless thought I was nothing but dribble, she has spent $125.00 on a single bottle of wine, it would not be within a heart missing to understand the exponential affect of losing $125.00 from her paycheck, I doubt she would even notice. There is a huge difference between making a six figure annual salary and making $30,000.00 a year, esp. in Oz and especially when your a single mother. Yesterday, when my staff member came to me again, she said, "I know your very busy, but I don't know what I'm going to do..." I said, "I do, go get all your paperwork and come in and shut my door..." I was not stopping until...
Small victories...after 2 1/2 hours on the speaker phone, and oh so funny that the insurance claim adjuster could not have been nicer to me...every time she started to divert and spin the conversation I would tell her to stop. I didn't need a story, I needed a one word answer to my questions. We gathered the information we needed from her and then called our companies payroll department. My staff member was elated. They would be cutting her an additional check for the $125.00. They had made a mistake in the way that they had been working their calculations. I high five my staff member and said, "don't you know, this will not only have an effect on you, but every person this may have happened to going forward." We had started this small battle with me teaching her what the word "exponential" means. We ended with her rightfully being paid what was owed and her being able to pay her rent this week, and the knowledge that our payroll department had corrected a mistake they had made over and over in the past with a knowing that someone else should never have to go through this frustration again. As I said, small victories, but large enough to keep the flame of the righteous burning, the value of $125.00.
Have a blessed day... XO Keke

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The value of $125.00

What value does $125.00 hold? The most interesting thing about living in Oz is the fact that it is almost impossible to go anywhere without someone asking you for something, mostly money. It's everywhere. Before moving here I've never had this experience. Maybe it's because I had never lived in an urban environment, even my beloved Sonoma is five times larger than the small town I came from, a town with out a stop light... You'll see them on the street corner, or in the middle of an intersection, sometimes just sitting on a side walk, a cardboard sign, or just a piece of paper. The two most common statements are "Veteran, God bless you..." or "Traveling broke, anything will help..." I've been approached in grocery store parking lots, at hotels, walking down the sidewalk, but the most scary encounters are when they try to come up to my car window as I've just finished pumping gas and just gotten into my vehicle or at the fast food drive up as I just finished ordering, even as I'm checking to make sure my car doors are locked and rolling up my windows, they will approach, their lips moving as if I can hear them through the glass. Then the controversial thoughts and questions fill my mind...the obvious, he has nicer sneakers than I do, she looks too clean...and then the self argument and self scolding for the judgement I am starting to make. And it is true, if I were to pass one of these people walking down the sidewalk without the sign most of them would look like you or I. Almost immediately Joan Osbourne's song will start to run through my head....

"If God had a name, what would it be

And would you call it to his face

If you were faced with him in all his glory

What would you ask if you had just one question?

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home..."

With the usual heart pounding and the melody of guilty argument running through my mind I usually end up in the same questioned place, how is it that I've landed in this strange place that I wonder if I'll ever understand...and if your wondering, yes, I often see people giving their money to these people. Over the holidays there was a young woman standing outside of the Target store exit asking everyone if they could spare some change for a hotel room. When AH first told me about her I almost couldn't believe him. A week later baby girl and I had ran into the store for a few things and when we came out the young woman was there asking again...My mothers heart weeped, she looked like she was about 35, and all I could think was, "how did you come to this place that you could do this?" The next thought was fear, even though she did not appear to be a young girl, it is still a dangerous thing to ask strangers even if you are outside a major shopping center. I wanted to say something to her, I wanted to mother her and ask her what she needed and why was she there and tell her that it was too dangerous to do that...I have strayed from my original question and sometimes I wander to places and don't know how I got there... The question, "what value does $125.00 hold?" I think I digressed because I was thinking of how many times I am asked for money, and wonder how many of those askers were of legitimate need... And the question that always follows in my many are there of legitimate need that never ask, they just suffer in silence, given in by default because they believe that there is nothing that can be done, everything is just what everything is...acceptance.

"If God had a face what would it look like

And would you want to see

If seeing meant that you would have to believe

In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets..."

Legitimate : conforming to recognized principles or accepted rules and standards

What value does $125.00 hold? I will reveal the answer tomorrow...

Thank you all for you love, kindness and support during this extremely difficult time for me, I could never begin to express what it means to me...Sleep sweet...

XO Keke

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I've spent most of my life as a hopeless optimist. Wallowing in the smallest ray of sunshine, believing and arguing for the point that people are inherently good. Handing out change to the homeless, going over the top to help those who ask and those who never asked...actually going over the top and beyond for everything. The word "No" has just never been in my vocabulary. I believed in blessings, karma, pay it forward, reach back and pull up and good always conquers evil. I believed that happiness was a choice and we all have that choice no matter what circumstances we are in, make the best of what you have, and where your at.... "Remain calm and carry on..." Now I'm in a position where I'm questioning everything.

“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” -Winston Churchill

Over the years I've had many staff members, my approach to management is always the golden rule. Basically I think of all of the really horrible managers I've known and try to do exactly the opposite of what they would do and then some. And then there is the fact that most of us spend more time at work than we spend with our own it's very difficult to not make some kind of connection and even more difficult to not least for me. I see some that seem to be able to make that separation splendidly, and I always would wonder how they could have no heart, no emotion, narcissism at it's best. Then there is the problem of my belief that even when people are upset, if you listen to them, most of the time that's all they need. My door has always been open to my staff, a safe zone where they could come in judgement free and vent anything that's on their mind personally or professionally. I've even allowed my staff to use my office if they needed a time out from the fish bowl of cubicle world.... if they come in upset and don't want to talk, I would just leave and shut my door, let them escape and pull it together...

I told one of my staff members the other day that I'm well aware that I'm not a perfect person or manager, but that people could do worse... this is true...but now I'm questioning why any of it?? Soulless seems to exist in a world that is all about her...and the opportunities seem to just lay in front of her... I've spent the five years before I got sick working 20/7 literally for what? I am now under investigation, (I choke to even say it), by HR, because a very troubled staff member has accused me of mistreatment. Fight or flight definitely has come into play here. What did I allegedly do to this staff member? I'm still trying to figure it out...and if evil does exist in this world, which we know it does just through the actions of soulless, it definitely is embodied within this person. This person has written a three page or more statement to HR about things I allegedly said...none of the things has anything to do with this person. I've denied almost all of it, with exception to the statement about the work place and or stress of it, if not causing then definitely aggravating my dystonia. Which is a very controversial statement to make, but then dystonia is very controversial and different for everyone, hence the controversy. Six months after I hired this person they felt the need to tell me that they were a recovering addict...that they have spent more years of their life addicted to Narcotics than they have been clean and sober, (*note to, run fast...) among many other things, horrible things that I did not need to or want to know...obviously a very troubled person...the terrible stories would always be offered to me by way of tears and a total mental melt down and always as an excuse for a mistake made by this persons distraction by all of the horrible things in their life, of which I would educate this person on our company's mental health contacts and plead at the very least for them to seek private help. This week end after the waste of time meeting with clueless HR, and when I say HR, I mean one person, who also pointedly told me without apology that they are friends with soulless but claims that they are capable of being non-biased and wanted to assure my confidentiality, which is another lie, historically proven, I started thinking about the hatred that this staff member must have for me... and why? If I am guilty of anything it would be showing them preferential treatment every time the mistakes kept piling up and I could only feel empathy because of another horrible story would be told to is it this person would hate me to the point of wanting to destroy my livelihood and possibly my life when you consider my need for a paycheck and health care... someone said the word to me yesterday. "EVIL" and I can't stop thinking of that word because there is no other explanation. Which does bring about the question of people being inherently good. How could I be my age and just now figuring this out. Maybe the cliche, "No good deed goes unpunished" is not so much a cliche. Maybe people are not inherently good, maybe evil exist more prevalently than I wanted to believe, in my naivety I needed to believe that good existed when it does not. As I run down the list of all the ways and things I did to help this person I have to ask myself why? Not only was there no benefit to me, it actually threatens my existence now. Hmmm...hard things and dark days to ponder...the exhausten from all of this leaves me not wanting to care ever again...

Monday, January 25, 2010

Something Good Monday and the "Joy" Factor

It's 5:15 a.m. I think I slept maybe 2 hours at the most last night. Pleading that my meds and heat kick in quickly...I should be leaving the house right now for work. Today is the first day of our new work location adding another hour to my commute. The below pic is from my friend Patti's blog

Her pic's usually remind me of where I came from, and sends me into a reflection of how far I've come... Her words bring me comfort and is definitely a "Something good Monday" worthy post. These particular pics remind me of the battle within my heart right now. I am battling bitterness...I have spoken briefly about "Soulless" and the tyranny she wields...but today I need prayer for discernment more than if I've ever needed it in my life before. I am under attack for sure, but it is spiritual warfare. Last week I spent 6 hrs with HR. I was on reduced hours, I have a whole team that I'm trying to pack along with all the legal documents my department holds to move to a new location and HR takes 6 precious hours of my already too short time...Friday's 3 1/2 interview was exhausting and I spent the rest of the day sick along with Saturday and Sunday...I will tell you more about this later but today is "Something Good Monday", and last night as I was trying to go to sleep, I came to the conclusion, that so far so good, my heart can't have turn to stone yet, otherwise I wouldn't be leaving for work this early... I am leaving for work this early so that one of my staff members will be able to start his day early because he is having logistical problems with the new location and being back in time so his wife can go to work and he can watch the baby...I realize in all of this commentary that I may lost the point of this something good item so I will break it down more simply:

  1. There is a very young couple in this world that love each other and their baby so much that she took on afternoon hours at work so that the sweet one will always have one of them and not left to the arms of strangers in daycare. I have posted about them previously, but to see the lengths their love will carry them is a blessing and amazing to me at a time when others simply would say they have no choice, these amazing kids take on the challenge and won't be turned around...
  2. My friend Patti at Creative Cottage Dreamer is always a sweet comforting voice on a dark crawling into a hug.

My next something good is my friend Tracy from "Cotton Pickin Cute",, who has started her own spread the joy endeavour with "Miracle Mondays". I was thinking it would be awesome if everyone followed this prompt and posted positive energy intentionally at least once a week to circle the globe with love....

And last but certainly not least "Frenchie & Flea", just yummy fun stuff...

I know I've told you about Allegra and Emily before, just jump on over there and spin a day dream or two...

I hope your "Something good Monday" was filled with joy!
XO Keke

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Catching up so I can go forward....

When I thought about posting this pic, it's of what my house was like Christmas night, this years toys were "Nerf" guns, and so a nerf war ensued...I thought "trying to catch up so I can go forward..." hmmm, as soon as I had that thought, I realized that is exactly where I'm stuck..."Trying to catch up so I can go forward..." Maybe you don't catch up, maybe you let go and just go forward? This statement could apply to every area of my health, finances, career, etc. I went to see Doc Daisy yesterday morning, wasn't sure what I expected her to do...actually she kind of had that look on her face as she came through the door...she said, "what happened", I'm seeing her two weeks earlier than our monthly visit...I started in with "shoulder, can't take the pain, soulless....blah, blah, blah..." she looked puzzled, prescribed me some topical patches, and I left her office just as clueless as she looked and responded to me...she did want to give me a week off...I said not possible at this time, soulless will for sure amp up the cruelness, Doc asked how about 4 hour work days for the next week, she said she thought that was reasonable, I agreed and made my way to the hospital for blood test...I waited over an hour to get in to vampirezilla girl who stabbed me with the butterfly needle so hard I now have a huge bruise...while I was waiting I called soulless to let her know I wouldn't be in the rest of the day...and that Doc only wanted me having four hour days the rest of the week...she wasn't happy and by 2:00 she was calling me, I didn't pick up, what part of sick day is not understood here? She said she wanted me to email her to let her know if the four hours would be morning or afternoon? *!!!#&*** what difference does it make, and really,she couldn't wait to talk to me when I returned today? Again, I did not respond, I went to bed instead...and yes, I know that might not have been the best choice, she even threw in that HR wanted to know too...I don't care, boundaries to save my life is what I'm calling it...but I know I will pay when I go in today... With that...time to run! I hope you find your "Joy Factor" today
XO Keke

Monday, January 18, 2010

Something Good Monday and the "Joy" Factor

I almost went to bed tonight without posting my something good Monday. I hadn't forgot, just having a hard time these days with something good. However, if I am to find my "Joy" I must try even if it doesn't feel that way, besides, I feel a little "pouty" saying that, deep down I know there is always something good, especially when I know there are others in our world with bigger problems and challenges than I.I had to dig a little, but I do believe in the benefits of counting your blessings everyday, no matter how blue things seem. The above picture of baby girl and I was taken by Mitzi the day after the wedding on the deck of the Cherry Cottage we rented. I wish you could have seen the view from that deck in real was quite amazing and one of the miracles that week.

And this picture of AH, baby boy and I on his wedding day, on the deck right before we left for the ceremony...looking at this picture of AH, he looks really terrible, I still can't wrap my arms around how emotional he was for those three days, it was all just so unexpected....but then so was everything that week, and still I have to step back and remember the miracles with gratitude...
This was the table that Mitzi built, the setting for the rehearsal dinner, if you could have seen us, dumping out my fabric boxes and grabbing everything we could grab at the last minute, we didn't know what to expect the "Cherry Cottage" would be like, trying to be prepared for everything, we must of had at least twenty giant tote bags, and then the laundry baskets and everything else we could grab, including "Bob", we couldn't have fit another thing in my car that night. It was dark and we had no idea really where we were going...more of the miracles of the week. Didn't she set the table splendidly? It really did have the charm of an Italian bistro
And then above, my dear Mitzi, yes, this is what she looked like the entire time...I won't tell you how crazy she drove me with her picture taking because I love her too much, but I will tell you I hate having my picture taken!
And then the best pic to leave you with on something good Monday is the picture of baby boy with the cutest most adorable "Joy" babies you ever wanted to see. Baby Ava and her big sister Arabella ,(the flower girl), who stole the show every where she went. And with this I leave you good night...Sleep Sweet dear friends.... XO Keke

Friday, January 15, 2010

I'm still dreaming of matchboxes and yesterday I went out and bought some. I found a pkg of three large ones for $1.50 and the small ones came 10 in a pkg for .97! What a deal! So I'm surfing to see some more inspiration and could not believe how much awesome inspiration is out there! Like the one to the left holding a baby doll that I found on swap-bot.

And this one that holds a little creature is absolutely delightful!

And little treat boxes...

And Ponyboy press is offering you a freebie with these little ones, so jump on over there and download her page, it really can't get any easier than this.

But alas, the ones I am still dreaming of are the large one, painted and glittered and embellished to the nines...I swear every time I look at the pics of the ones I posted Tuesday I smell romance...
What does that smell like? LOL!
It smells like conversation hearts....
I'm so sorry to leave with this, Madhatter time, but I hope your day is filled with love and abundant joy!
XO Keke

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I'm dreaming of Valentines Day...Yes it is a distraction. I couldn't possibly follow "Something Good Mondays" with nonsensical clutter that too shall pass...requiring...strength of heart and a huge amount of courage...inside my, stay, run, stay... Valentines Day...that's it, I'm going to dream of Valentines in pink and white and newest curiosity is decorated match boxes. When I was a kid Valentines day meant tissue paper and lace hearts and lots and lots of glue...ta da! A Valentines box was made. Now, I'm told children hang paper sacks or envelopes with a store bought Valentine stapled to sad, another tradition ripped from our children that promoted creativity, parental interaction, dreams.... (although someone told me it may have been a midwest thing, so I'm curious if other people have had this tradition in their childhood) ...don't digress Keke, get to the point...the point is I want to make a Valentine box, and my latest curiosity are these little decorated match boxes. If you google "Valentine Match Box Swap" it will bring up pages...the one below found at "Yapping Cat Studios". You have to admit, the name of this site alone makes you want to go check it out, and the banner is hysterical!

And look at the one from "Speckled Egg".

And Natasha Burns is oh so lovely....

And can you believe this velvety basket so yummy and dreamy...

So tonight I want to leave you all with abundant JOY and red, pink and white tissue paper, gobs of messy glue and lace hearts
that hopefully magically turn into a box of love..
XO Keke

Monday, January 11, 2010

Something Good Monday and The "JOY" Factor

I had actually started this yesterday and was going to call out my very first "prompt", ran out of time even though I was up until 2:20 a.m. this morning! Ugh...OK, that has got to stop. I only have a few moments, but still had to get this out there! "Something Good Monday" is about me wanting to pledge that at least one day a week for all of 2010, to throw positive ions into the world...thus encouraging "The Joy Factor".

Joy Factor #1:
Remember my friend Suzanne? She has been struggling with pain and suffering seemingly falling on deaf ears by the medical comes "Man of the Year"... That's what I'm calling her husband Charles this year... I love a man that loves his wife! And after a few phone calls he has managed to get her a referral to "Columbia" with a well credited neurologist...
Meet Suzanne ...
and her "Man of the Year"...OK, his real name is Charles.... Meet Dr. Steven Frucht, MD Associate Professor of Clinical Neurology , whom Charles will be calling this morning to get an appointment for Suzanne...Calling all you prayer warriors...I know your out there...please speak her name on bended knee that she may rest in the arms of angels and that Charles will get her an appointment sooner rather than later! I'm going to trust in my God and know that her suffering will end. and that Dr. Frucht will finally be the answer God sends to her prayers... Please pray for the discernment on Dr. Frucht part as well, that he will be able to help her...and that he will treat her with compassion and love...

Steven Frucht, MD Associate Professor of Clinical Neurology

I still don't understand the needless suffering in this day and age, but I'm not going to go there because this is about "JOY"....

Joy Factor #2:

You know she is the light of my days, we had a lovely day yesterday and I'm still smiling today from did I ever deserve to have this precious baby girl...did I ever tell you that from the time I brought her home from the hospital she slept through the night, and very rarely ever cried, ever... most of the time she would just lay there and coo and smile? OK, it wasn't all perfect we did hit a few speed bumps between maybe 10 and 17...but what a beautiful young woman she did turn into...inside and out! Ok, I'll stop gushing and move on....

Joy Factor #3: (It is the little things)
I found a new site...and it is delightful...of course, "Cherries and recipes..." Check it out, I promise you'll love it!

And with that, I have to my prompt to all of you out there is that every Monday is "Something Good Monday" and you list at least three "JOY" factors every Monday for the next year...let's spread the positive ions through out 2010! We can choose to live in "JOY" even when everything is not perfect!!!

Sending you JOY!
XO Keke

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Big Dreams, New Adventures, Resoulutions and Distractions

Where do resolutions begin? I say they begin with a dream that with further thought become resolutions which become attainable goals and new adventures. Thus the aforementioned becomes a wonderful distraction....
So I am dreaming of mine and Mitzi's next adventure...The year Mitzi and I became Cherry Queens was one of my life's pivotal moments...a defining moment....Yes we were sitting on the back of a convertible in the loveliest place on earth, my beloved Sonoma, we were giggling and being silly, waving the parade queen's wave...but it went much deeper, the past leading up to this moment is now of no consequence, a secret that two sisters who were brave enough to unfold and set aside as it no longer held power over love was to provide a lighted path for them to walk into unknown happiness awaiting. It is then fitting that we are to take tea at the "Royal T Cafe". Of course, but where else? I have found such a place in Culver City, CA. The history of this place makes it even more fitting that this should be our next great adventure.

According to Wikapedia, hundreds of movies have been produced on the lots of Culver City's studios, Sony Pictures Studios (originally MGM Studios) was one of those studios. One of the movies was The Wizard of Oz. It was filmed and released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Other places of interest include Culver Hotel: A 1924 landmark pie-slice-shaped hotel (I hope that was "cherry pie") in downtown. Many of the cast of The Wizard of Oz stayed here during filming of the movie in 1939. The hijinks of that period, including the hotel's being taken over by the "Munchkins," were featured in the 1981 movie Under the Rainbow. Formerly owned by John Wayne, the hotel has housed many stars including Clark Gable, Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Red Skelton, Buster Keaton and Ronald Reagan. Old Hollywood, glamore of course this should be a "Cherry Queen's" next adventure!
Then there is Helms Bakery, now a center for restaurants, art galleries, and the Jazz Bakery (a jazz club), which is one of the "Cherry Queen" bi-laws..."No more Blues...only Jazz." Doesn't the "Royal T Cafe" look splendid? Note the chandelier and the wait staff uniforms... What do you think Mitz?
Thanks for sharing my dream, resolution, adventure and distraction tonight...Sleep sweet my friends... XO Keke

P.S. Check out some of the menu...

Green Tea Soba Noodles 12
with Market Vegetables, Mushrooms, Black Garlic and a Brown Butter/Oyster Sauce Add Chicken 3.00
Grilled Salmon 18
with Roasted Fennel, Yuzu/Chardonnay Beurre Blanc, and Wild & White Rice Medley
Kabocha Squash Ravioli 14
with a Lemongrass, Vegetable Broth and a Brown Butter Sauce
Jidori Coq au Vin 16
Red Wine Stew with Jidori Chicken Breast
Hanger Steak Frites 18
Perfectly Gilled 10 oz Hanger Steak with a Red Wine/Smoked Shoyu Reduction, Potato Gratin, Sautéed Green Beans and Baby Carrots
Assorted Savory Canapés and Desserts on a 3 Tiered Tray. Includes a Pot of Tea of Your Choice.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Just when I think the whole world is crashing down and it can't get any worse, it does... and then right before I'm ready to throw in the towel, and I'm thinking of jumping off a bridge...(metaphorically, not actually) a kindness or an angel comes to lift me up.... my little red car has come down with a virus, or something...engine light on, coughing up smoke from the tail pipe as we were leaving to go to my doctors appt. yesterday, which I wasn't looking forward to anyway, but a necessary evil ...lets just throw in a little more stress and anxiety... It can't happen right now, I can't afford a new car...I can't even afford repairs on the lovely little red car that has seen me the distance...sigh... "Ok Lord...Can I get a break here?" No I don't want to hear "silver refined" or "he won't give more than I can handle"...yes, I'm having an argument with myself!
I have posted before about my lovely new friend from down under... "Jules", my swap partner for "Home for the Holidays"... Jules, whom sent me the loveliest package ever and is still waiting to receive mine...Why? You ask? Because it's somewhere out there in postal land and I was in too big of a hurry on my way to work as I darted into the post office to mail her package that I was already mailing late!!! Scream!

Lady at the counter: " Do you want delivery confirmation?"

Impatient running late me: "No thanks, just mail it..." I don't think I actually said it like that, but I'm sure the anxiety on my face as I'm looking at my watch said it for me...
Sigh... Fast forward...dear sweet Jules is still waiting and while she's waiting she's thinking of me....last night, when I return from the doctors, totally depleted, I start to go through the 218 unread, I'm not exaggerating...I'm really that far behind, day late and dollar short girl just can't seem to catch up... only to find an email from Jules with a present attached. That present just happens to be my new "Cherry Kingdom" banner...complete with a vintage lady in a cherry hat... Jules keeps telling me not to worry about it, but that is not, I'm starting another package for her, and yes, this time I will get all the bells and whistles the post has to offer while we wait and hope the other one miraculously shows up! In the meantime, please do stop by and check out her blog, Jules is such a sweet and kind spirit...and it's such a lovely place to visit...
In the meantime...I have no idea what I'm going to do about my car...and the thousand other little disasters crumbling around my head, but, Jules gift and sweetness does offer a little ray of light in what seems to be dark clouds hanging over me right now...
I do have a bit of good news, the doctors scale said I lost nine pounds last month...slowly but surely I'm finding my way back to where I was before Dystonia... Sleep sweet my friends... XO Keke

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I spent all day yesterday in my p.j.'s and sleeping...One would think that was nice...perhaps it was, except it leaves me feeling a little disoriented this morning. So much to do if I am to keep my New Year's resolutions.
Big goals this year that AH and I are determined to accomplish...
  • Find a neurologist who will show interest and actually help me overcome my Dystonia
  • Move back and buy a house in our beloved Sonoma
  • AH gets a job
  • I will hopefully find a new job
  • Christmas planned and purchased buy September
  • A real vacation
Hopefully these resolutions will come to fruition sooner than later. These are big ones I know, but we must turn the tide on we're we've been which hasn't been very much fun.... So I will leave with that so I can jump in the shower and start working on some of these goals, so much to do and always so little time...
XO Keke