Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I am looking for spring time. For sunshine, for birds singing, for hope. I think everyone could probably say this right now, but I mean it metaphorically as well. I knew this road I chose would be a battle, even in the worst of times I knew the worst was yet to come. And every day is a little worse than the day before. Soulless is reduced to walking around with black eyes again, her hatred of me is palpable. She is seething, she wears it like a self righteous cloak. The meanness is evil, you can see the black aura encircled in a radius around her every step, her body, her face, I'm waiting for her to lunge at me. Her aggression is there to see. Everything is all wrong. My department is crashing, the other department we support is loosing their mind with worry. They've done their job now it's up to us to finish the race. They have no faith that me and my department will. The phone calls come daily. Soulless created this environment and she is angry as most evil beings are when you dare to shed light on them. HR came to the conclusion and put it in the famous investigative memo that the staff member that launched a complaint against me was guilty of verbally attacking and harassing and being aggressive with me and others. It said the company has a no tolerance policy against this, yet she still returns to my department day after day. Soulless scampered to give her a written warning...irony, the woman whose anger toward me prompted her to make this complaint and walked around like a cat with a feather in her mouth for months found out just who soulless was...she was so certain that soulless would take care of her. Soulless gave her a one time written warning that said if she ever behaved in an aggressive manor again she would be fired. She left work crying, soulless and the VP called me in after to tell me what they had done, they were so proud of themselves...they pushed the memo across the table at me and began to ramble about how they don't think she even realizes that she is 'being' aggressive and they believe she can be coached through this. At some point they began to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. I didn't read the memo until the next day. The statements that soulless wrote in the written warning were wrong. She wrote falsehoods on this one time warning and I haven't decided what to do with this.
I also found out last week the lawyer that the company hired had broken my confidentiality. I also received an email from the 'facilitator' who told me she didn't want to know anything yet was in constant conversation with the 'confidential independent advisor' and who my alleged confidential information was given. Next Friday I am to meet with the 'facilitator' and the VP's manager, the President to hear the outcome of my complaints. It will go as all of this has gone thus far. It will be riddled with mostly lies, half truths and nothing will be done.

They will conclude my complaint against soulless, HR and the VP and make way so that HR and soulless can fire me. They wouldn't dare to do this while they are under investigation. They also will not find in my favor. It would require them to admit a wrong has been done by senior management representing the company.

I called one of the three lawyers that I had found yesterday, I really just wanted information, I have never had to retain legal council before. The person I spoke with gave me what she called an assessment interview. She asked me questions like, my age, the size of the company, is there anyone willing to testify on my behalf. It's all about money...this particular attorney takes on high profile cases. It was unexpected. She said she would call or send an email to tell me if the attorney wants to take my case. I said wait, I called for information, she said, "what do you want to know?" I said, "how this all works". She said you give the attorney a $1500 retainer fee, then she takes 40 % of what ever she wins for you. She hung up. I started laughing. All of this is so ridiculous. She is going to call and say if she wants to represent me. I didn't say I wanted her to, I only wanted information. Ego in this large lost land I'm in seems vast and far. I have to call the other two lawyers, and then probably more..I need help, I need advice, this is bigger than I am and I can't find my way out. Should I call Washington? At this point I want to shout the injustice of all of this to the world! What do I do now? I can not return and continue to take the punches from soulless. I get sicker by the day, I'm back to when I was at my worst and all I did was sleep, go to work, sleep, go to work....there is no quality to my life. Which is why this post is going to say that I wrote this March 10th when I only put the pics on here that day, today is actually Saturday, March 13th. I can't find the time for any of my personal items be it personal business or just things that bring me joy. Speaking of joy, I am having coffee with my sweet friend this morning. She is always a voice of reason and stability and a cheerleader for me. Exactly what I need after last week.
P.S. If any of you have advice on the legal system attorneys or how I go about the next round of battle please send...I really don't know what I'm doing at this point....


Suzanne said...

My advice, is to avoid the attorney if at all possible. Taking that path almost never goes well and you could end up being a target and having to defend things that will seem to come out of left field. The politics are nasty but necessary unless you're ready to possibly make working there impossible. Of course I don't know the situation, really...just witnessed years of being in corporate environment as my husband is for many years more than I. If you'd like his input, he's masterful at some of these ridiculous situations and believe me, we have dealt with and witnessed some absolutely insane and even ridiculous situations in the corporate or business world. You have my number and I know that my husband has a very sane and mostly infallable way of dealing with these wouldn't be a bother at all, in fact, he's next to me right now and gave that knowing nod in understanding. Praying for you..

Big Hugs,

Patti said...

Oh yikes! It sounds like you know how the scenario will turn out and sorry to may be right. It is always about money...not fairness but money- especially when the legal and corporate world get involved.

I am kind of in the same boat as you, from a legal perpective and position. My mom dies a year ago Oct. and in tha last year and a half I have found out quite by accident that my only sibling, my sister, who I thought I was close to, lied, stole, defrauded my mom and our family to the tune of a half of a million dollars and apparently does not think she did anything wrong. So I know about the legal end of things b/c I am lucky enough to have 4 good friends who are lawyers and 1 took on "our case" and sent a letter on behalf of me. I was advised by all 4 not to go ahead with this case b/c we don't have the money to fight for this and it would cost so much. The unfainess and injustice is all over this case, but we don't have the money we need to go after my sis and her husband to prove it. SO I know what you are feeling- really- it is like the the whole world is off kilter and tilted. I have been so depressed and sad and grieving for not only my mom, but my sister and her family and her husband's family (that we were very close to and have found out she is doing something similar to them too but they are apparently aware of the situation). It's an ugly situation- one that will never be resolved, and it is heartbreaking. I try really hard not to think about it, but it does pop in at strange times and when it does, I do cry- I am getting better tho- crying mainly at home. Many of the poems I have written are directed at my sister and the situation. That's the best I can do since legally we can not do a thing. I didn't mean this to be so long- I guess I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in what you are feeling- it is normal (or so I tell myself- lol!). BIG HUGS!!! And take care! And no- it IS NOT fair!