Sunday, March 7, 2010

Curiouser and curiouser!

I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!

(This is exactly how I feel right now...)

Baby girl surprised me Saturday when I got home from work with a gift. It was a red tote bag with images of the Red Queen on it and inside the card were movie tickets for all of us to go see 'Alice and Wonderland'.

So today, AH and both kids and I went to the Sunday matinee. It was a lovely warm day here in Oz. It has been so dark and gray for what seems to be months on end. It was lovely. AH, the kids and I haven't been out as a family for no reason other than the delight of doing something fun in ages. So sweet that baby girl of mine. Funny, I had been looking forward to seeing this movie for months, but with my current state of existence I had totally forgot the movie was coming out on Friday.

The movie was ok, not quite as fantastical and as exciting as the trailers had depicted. Still, it was nice to be out as a family, and just a reminder, as my friend Patti reminded me of what is really important in this life. And baby girls thoughtfulness and generosity makes my heart smile.

This has been a curious week. I think I've said this before, but I originally started this blog as just sort of a journal. I didn't really expect anyone to read it, and what's more, I didn't expect to be gifted with such dear sweet souls to look after me. In saying this, I realized that my current situation has been racked with such emotion that I ramble and must leave all of you with confusion. Actually there are times when I look back at this 'working out' on page and it all seems more fantastical than 'Alice in Wonderland' was today. When I look at the story, it doesn't even seem possible, but yet it is. I think you all have a good idea of who soulless is, the rest probably leaves you with a confused curiosity. I've decided that in the next few days I will try to briefly bullet point how I came to this position, to offer clarity. The story starts with AH and I moving to Oz...

  • Unknowingly I secured employment with a company who produces a luxury commodity
  • Almost everyone told me how lucky I was. In the beginning it appeared to be so. This company is a leader in the industry and very prominent in Oz and every where else for that matter.
  • I actually felt lucky in the beginning and was naive enough to believe that if I kept my head down and worked hard enough I would eventually live the American dream.
  • I first hired in as a purchaser. I loved my manager. He was a retired decorated Marine officer. He was easy, he was very direct. I never had to worry about what car in the emotional roller coaster he was on. I never had to second guess anything I needed to say to him for fear he would break down crying or go into some kind of profanity laced melt down. I did my job, went home lived a happy life. Respect was mutual and work was satisfying and fun. He was tough and no nonsense but you also knew that he cared and he wasn't going to ask you to do anything that he wouldn't do himself. All he asked was excellence and he gave it back in return. I still consider him a mentor. Unfortunately the position ended. He called me into his office one day and said, "good news or bad news first?" He had found me another position, I was fired and re-hired all with in about two hours. I left his office and unknowingly went to interview in the building across the parking lot with the person I have come to call 'soulless'.

Even then I did not realize the power, the politics and the money behind the business I was about to become permanently employed by. My mind doesn't work in those types of measurements, or I should say didn't... These have been hard truths for me to learn over the last five and a half years. I work for a self made billionaire. A man that I once admired, and even during the dark days I would justify him not knowing the practices of this company that he has built from the ground up with many excuses. Excuses I can no longer make... that will have to come later in the story.

To be continued...

Sleep sweet dear friends, thank you for all your love kindness and support, I could never express what your kindness' have meant.



Tracy Suzanne said...

Hi Sweetie. What a wonderful thing that beautiful daughter did for you. You're so lucky to have each other. It sounds like such a nice weekend with the family.

Oh I see soulless is still being relentless. I pray for you and this situation all the time. Love how you tell a story and look forward to the rest. Something special is on the horizon for you. I just know it. Hang in there darlin'.

I hope tomorrow is a bright and sunny day for you. One that soulless can't even darken. Sweet dreams and warm loving hugs...Tracy :)

Patti said...

What a sweetie your daughter is!!! Glad you got to go to the movie- an escape is an escape, right? My daughter saw it MOn. night and said the same thing. I, who am a HUGE JD fan, will probably not see it until it's On Demand. Oh well.
You do tell the story well- I am curious to hear more. I am thinking about you on a daily basis- sending warm hugs and good thoughts constantly!