Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Diliberate Life and Lucy Stone

Lucy Stone
I'm all over the place this morning, my thoughts racing to catch up to my intentions. The words from my rude lawyer still stinging from yesterdays conversation. The questions go unanswered, another woman in business that fails to attempt civility, grace, manners and any form of decent professionalism. Friday's conversation left me with knowing that I would most likely need to fire her, she was supposed to have ready Tuesday the demands for my suffering, for the discrimination and harassment enacted upon me. Tuesday the phone call came that she would need more time. The point being that my concern is not her delivery of the demand letter as much as her dedication to my case, and trying to figure out if the 3.5 billion dollars behind my employer has brought about corruption as she is telling me things on Friday that lead me to that very question. Yesterday's phone call again left me with the same conclusion as Friday. Every conversation I have with this lawyer is as bad or worse than the one before, if we measured the time I have spoken with her it would be less than one minute, not to be confused with time spent in conversation with her which would be a generous approximate of 45 minutes, since handing her the currency required for her representation. AH and I both had reservations about keeping that appointment that day, we had both at different moments spoke out loud that maybe we should cancel and sleep on it some more. Hastily we did not listen to ourselves or each other and now it seems the plot has worsened by falling into the hands of a pettifogger.Every conversation as the last, she'll ask a question and before I can return with the answer she will interrupt with an outburst repeating the same question. Honestly, I'm starting to think that she and soulless could be sisters. Friday's conversation; 'I believe you still owe me the chronology' I answered "I've already sent it". Response; "Oh". Well I believe you still owe me medical records". I answered, "I've already sent it". Response; "Oh". I told AH it was as if she were digging for a reason to justify her not delivering on the money I've given her. If she didn't know these documents had already been sent to her office, how well has she familiarized herself with my case? Furthermore, who might she think she be to respond to me with such an amount of arrogance, disrespect and shear blasphemy? She is who I allow her to be, shall I exercises my voice of intolerance for her ignorance, or shall I remain submissive and speak nothing of the unkind ignorance and allow her to remain attacking for the next that should come along? After all, I have no disillusion that I am but a victim of the world, I know that she comes to me of this nature because others before remained mute. Although surely we all must see the irony that she would suggest to represent against her own kind and that of all the representation listed on the masses of search engines, unknowingly I would find my way to her of all others. The voice whispers again the lesson that I must learn or the voice I must free. I will say again as I've said before, I am not sure where this path is leading me, in God's time and with his will... What I do know is I am the King's child and will no longer tolerate such abuse, the grace she has been allowed to this point is just that, 'grace' it should not be confused with weakness that I have shown respect in a professional manner. Old chains that bind, that howl and clank in our hearts and our souls as women, lest we be categorized with those such as these. I asked AH last night why don't I trust myself and listen to the voice that whispers don't listen to this, speak up, don't do that, don't go there? A womans intuition is perhaps the most powerful thing on earth... It's how we protect our children, our family, and our homes. How is it that we rarely use this tool to protect ourselves? How is it that we find ourselves in bondage by our very own sense of decency and respect for others although they show nothing of the same to us? How is it that we listen to others with regret or anger and somehow don't muster the courage to stand against it? As a woman who's youth was framed by the woman's rights movement and all that it has brought, I question whether we are any further along. That's ridiculous, of course we are. I do however believe that women such as these, who like to mourn and cry out over the glass ceiling over a glass of wine and a gigantic sense of ego, are the very women who keep it in place, kept in place by their very actions, lack of manners, and ethics, their ability to contain their emotional outburst in everyday business practice, let alone the board room. As a woman I don't want to be subjected to their behavior, why would any one else? Soulless on several occasions mourned the glass ceiling and the venom she spewed from her teeth angered mine and your sense of intelligence. Would either know to breath the name of Elizabeth Cady Staton, would either know of the Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions? Yet they dare spout for their own benefit, ignorance's not defined with only enough key words to hold the rest of us in bondage by their representation of the female form. I dare say that Lucy Stone would turn in her grave to know that her sacrifice and courage has been wasted on the likes of these, although surely there must have been likeness to these during her time in this place. Lucy did not waiver, she lived a deliberate life of purpose, and maybe, just maybe this is my lesson...

Walden - Chapter 2

Where I lived, and What I lived for

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.
Henry David Thoreau - 1854
And I digressed in a manner that I did not intend. Originally this post was to be a parody of tax day and a few pics of vintage pin ups just for the delight of it. Although I must say as much as they are visually colorful and fulfill my love of vintage art, I hadn't realized how provocative some of them were and now must rethink the use in creative endeavors... I wish you blessings and hope that you are all abundantly well today. XOXO Keke


Suzanne said...

Your recognizing the lesson is step 1...brilliant. Sometimes we forget and then it catches up to us when we need reminding. Sometimes it is assaulting from all sides. Sorry this has been so difficult, you're in my prayers. I still have to get to the post office but of course it's been impossible this week, with company arriving today and for the weekend! So busy but it's all good.
Please find peace quickly for your soul's sake. If she's not the right lawyer then move on. My attorney, for a frightening dispute with my ex was recommended by someone at the county prosecutor's office. I wanted someone smart and low key with excellent reputation. Good luck to you Keke.

Big Hug,

Patti said...

I am sure you are not too surprised with how this is playing out- really. Keep standing firm and knowing that what you are doing and your side is pure and right. Take care and take care of yourself!