Monday, December 28, 2009

Saturday night melt down....

Well it happened, of course it did...I saw it coming like a freight train...total melt down...I tried to warn AH. I don't know why he didn't listen to me, actually I think he heard me but didn't believe me, it was more like him sitting with his eyes closed thinking somehow it wouldn't. Saturday afternoon I was so exhausted, overwhelmed, trying to hold on, I kept telling myself deep breaths , it's only 12 more hours and they'll be gone...I could feel my heart pounding like it had jumped out of my chest...everyday MIL and her second husbands behavior just seemed to get worse as each day passed, just as it did with their last visit...baby girl had been over, she believed me, she could see it coming, she even recommended that I lay in my bed for a few hours and rest...so, I put on my jammies and crawled into bed...I'll back up to about 11:00 a.m. when we were warming left overs for lunch and MIL just couldn't help herself to let crude disgusting comments come out of her mouth...baby girl and I just looked at each other speechless...where's AH, he needs to take care of this, it's his mother! Fast forward, four loads of dirty dishes later, literally, I would rinse the dishes, because for some reason, although everyone is definitely old enough and smart enough to rinse the food and nastiness off their own plates they some how wouldn't, which is a huge pet peeve for me, like some one else finds pleasure in doing it for them later after it's had time to air dry...every time I went into my teeny little kitchen both sinks would be over flowing with dirty dishes...so I would rinse and load, only to repeat every couple of hours, baby girl would come in and help me, it was like she could see it coming in slow motion and somehow was trying to help me avoid what was about to happen...It was unavoidable! I am not sorry...enough is enough and if AH is going to allow such people into our home to behave in such a way then I am going to take care of it myself! I tried to respect the fact that it was his mother, however, stupid is as stupid does and after years of putting up with their behavior on these visits, I just snapped. MIL and her second husband are alcoholics. There, I said the dirty little word that no one says and wants to pretend it isn't so...but they are! They are BIG FAT ALCOHOLICS AND I'M NOT DEALING WITH IT ANYMORE!!!! And what starts out with one beer each leads to a case about 3 hours later and their behavior is disgusting and unacceptable!!! So much so that I don't want to see their faces ever again, period! So, I crawl into bed and doze off...it's about 9 p.m. and just nicely get to sleep when I'm woken by loud ruckus in my living room about a half hour later, the T.V. was blasting, MIL and her second husband have a comedy show on and they are drunk on their tails on my sofa...AH was just setting there...I look at him and say, "what is that volume on?" He yelled, "What?" I had to repeat myself, this time with a few expletives, I know that was bad form, but honestly I still almost don't care because sometimes you have to shock people who think it's ok to behave this way in order to get their attention. Honestly, let's break down the scenario, they are 72 yrs old, they needed to be up at 4 a.m. the next morning for the 2 hour drive to the airport to catch their flight home, why are they in my living room getting sloshed at 9:30 p.m? Actually, why would they do it every any way? NO RESPECT, that's why! So I yelled at them...and you know what, it didn't seem to phase them...all though it did freak AH out... The next morning AH was tip toeing around our bedroom, he was trying not to wake me, I heard him, in fact I felt him get out of bed as I really hadn't slept much the rest of the night...I just laid there and didn't say a word to him...he grabbed his clothes and left our room...he knew better than to think I would be driving to the airport with them...thankfully they left at 5:30 am and barely made it to the gate because of all of the heightened security measures and the time it takes to get through the packed airport. After they left I got up and started scrubbing the nest from top to bottom, as I always have to do when they leave because they make my nest stink! I know, I sound horrible, but honestly for the first time in my life I don't even feel bad for it! AH returned home about 11 am yesterday, with the sheepish look on his face in tow...and I started yelling at him all over again...I also have decided that they are no longer welcome in my home...too many years of this ridiculous dysfunction all because AH doesn't want the confrontation with his mother...that's fine, but if they want to visit AH they will need to get a hotel room and they will have to visit there...because I really, really mean it... AH always makes all kinds of excuses and reasoning for their disgusting behavior and although I would argue his points right back to him, year after year these visits will come...AH's biggest defense is that he thinks they don't know any better, and we all know that is DENIAL! And yes they do know better! There's a difference between not knowing better and knowing better and choosing to do it anyway...and I don't even care that it's considered an illness, I'm so sick of that excuse I can't stand it! As I said, "Stupid is as Stupid does and Stupid is NOT Welcome in my home anymore! And that my friends is it, far past madhatter time and I'm amped up already this morning...that was how my Christmas holidays ended and 2010 is coming with full promise of a better year and LARGE BOUNDARIES... I promise the next post will be on a happier note... XO Keke

4 comments:

Mitzi said...

Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry ...while there are many things I could say...you probably know what they are...I'll keep it blogland short. Do not apologize for being upset , furious, exhausted, with their behavior!! you are made of flesh...that said we probably need to update "Cherry Queen" protocol.Cherry Queens are not afraid to exhibit bounderies , or exert control when the situation calls for it. We will do it with extreme grace and poise, using #*O%!! only when the shock of showing extreme emotion through bad language is required (which is almost never). Now go forth dear sister into a NEW year. May God give you discernment,peace, wisdom, and JOY. much Love to you Mitzi

Suzanne said...

Everything that Mitzi said! You have more than enough to deal with. Cheers to 2010!
Sue

Tracy Suzanne said...

Bless your heart Keke. I hate that feeling of knowing it's coming and everyone else just burying their head (Neil) rather then helping to head it off. Good for you for holding out as long as you did. And good for you saying you've had enough and no trip to the airport. You had enough on your plate without adding out of town guest (these guest) to it.

Love you here and think your the best. I know your heart and I consider myself lucky to have sweet you as a friend.

Hugs...Tracy :)

d.kbauer said...

keke where are you ..starting to worry. D.K.