The last two days have been strangely contemplative, especially considering how stressful and hectic everything has been. I keep trying to slow down, keep only positives around me, less I never heal or go into remission with this blasted "Dystonia". An ugly word that I wish I did not know the meaning of. I've been pretty sick since Friday, pop my meds, put on a happy face and push through the day...caught somewhere between people are sick of me being sick and hearing about it and me not caring that people are sick of me being sick...you get to that point, it's only been 1 1/2 yrs of waking up sick every day, not sleeping at night and all the while trying to pretend "I'm fine..." standard answer when people ask, "how are you?" Pretty sure it's just a social gesture and people don't really want to know how I really am.
On another note...I don't think I've ever mentioned how much I love books...I love everything about them, the texture, the thickness, the smell, the feel of the weight in my hands. I used to be a voracious reader, I could chew an average size book up in one day, it would be nothing for me to read 4 or 5 books a week....These days I do good to have time to read a page...such a shame. I did stumble across one this morning, pictured above that I think I'm going to get and read, it looks so interesting, and then after reading the bio and a short sample, I was hooked on how provocative it seemed. And it covers all my favorite things, I would describe it as a plunge into the humanity of all seekers and their journeys.
Listening to Your Life
Frederick Buechner, a Presbyterian minister, has published novels, essays, sermons, portraits of biblical characters, as well as two collections organized as dictionaries, of brief redefinitions of religious terms. He is also known for his autobiographical musings, including The Sacred Journey, Now & Then, Telling Secrets, and The Longing for Home.
Buechner finds intimations of God's presence and grace at every turn, and especially in his own experiences. It's not surprising, then, that this collection of excerpts from his many writings is called Listening to Your Life. It is organized with a brief reading for every day of the year.
An Excerpt from Listening to Your Life by Frederick Buechner:
"If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party. The world says, Mind your own business, and Jesus says, There is no such thing as your own business. The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success, and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified. The world says, Drive carefully — the life you save may be your own — and Jesus says, Whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. The world says, Law and order, and Jesus says, Love. The world says, Get and Jesus says, Give. In terms of the world's sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he can follow him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under a cross than under a delusion."
I have always loved to study peoples religions, I don't know why, I can only describe it as the fact that I've always felt like a seeker... I found this on this website called: Spirituality & Practice, Resources for Spiritual Journeys. http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com If you get a chance or have an interest you might want to stop by, there are many thought provoking resources on this site.
And to that, I will say good night. Yes, it is 8:45 a.m. but as I've said, been kind of a rough couple of days, soulless did me in on Friday, and even though the day hasn't even started, I'm ignoring the voices in my head that say, "don't be lazy, get up and go," and I'm going to take another nap. Have a blessed day good citizens, go and be well!