Wednesday, September 16, 2009


What is your passion? I was speaking with someone a few weeks ago about self discovery. This person has had seemingly insurmountable challenges to face in her life and so far has came out victorious but is still working on living her best life. She shared with me that she has no memory of her childhood. She has experienced childhood rape, was then sent away to foster care when she became pregnant and was not taken back home to her parents until the child was born and sent off for adoption, horrifying for me to think, no, this wasn't the 1950's when this happened to her, it was the 80's. How could her parents have done that to her? The loss of another child, overcame drug abuse, most recently she has conquered her smoking habit, is currently working on her weight and self image and has asked her husband for a divorce. Although she has been clean for about six years she still attends and is very active in her Narcotics Anonymous group. The title of this post could be called "Courage," but, perhaps the biggest challenge in her life still facing her may be the "loss of self." She said to me, "I don't know what I love." She said, "I keep thinking and thinking, but I truly can't figure out what I love or what I want." The words she spoke resonated through my body, I could physically feel her pain. She is honest with herself and others about the space she is in right now and acknowledges it is her ownership. In the photo above Salvador Dali demonstrates his representation of feminine passion. Look at the hands reaching out, yearning, daring to reach for something more. I think that most women can relate to this deep desire for discovery. We give so much of ourselves to others that it naturally becomes our identity, and becomes the expectation of those around us. I am thinking about starting a project. It would be called "I Am" the rest to be filled in by individual women. What words would you say after the words, "I Am?" Most women when asked would say..."Wife, mother, daughter, sister..." And yes, we are all of those things, but after removing and setting those labels aside, who are you, what is your passion, what stirs you to evoke strong emotion? What is the passion so strong that it wakes you from your slumber?" I have always believed that the universe will send to you what ever you are searching for...I find it interesting that as I struggle through this journey of self discovery that two women within the last month have shared their stories with me. Random conversations initiated by them. Do we dare, do we have the courage to truly be ourselves, to travel the journey of discovery of who we truly are? Do we dare to peel off the cloaks that the world has assigned us?

I will leave you with a quote by Joss Whedon...

“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.”

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