Thursday, August 12, 2010

Pretty in Pink

Pretty in Pink...I want to look like this woman...I swear I was born in the wrong decade! in Oz would actually permit me to dress like her and wear the up do without being questioned. I remember when I first moved here and I was complaining about not looking good and my good friend and the first friend I made in Oz...'Sarah' laughed and said, "Keke, haven't you figured it out yet? You can't look bad here." I remember looking around at every one that day and realized that what she said was true. Everyone in Oz seems to march to the beat of their own drum and it's not questioned... not like in the mid west where status quo was pretty much expected and you would not be able to present yourself differently with out stares and comments. Social prejudices, fear... I will say that every other day when I've decided I need to move away from Oz and struggle with 'where to?', I always put that acceptance on the pro side.

I'm rambling...I have much to catch up on, these last few months that I've been off line have been overwhelming. So much so that I find myself compartmentalizing my life now. I have put everything away in it's own little box and some boxes are only taken in small peeks, others not at all, for now....

I've decided that each day I will offer a small peek into only one box, otherwise this blog page would implode...and as I sit here trying to figure out how to rebuild my life it forces me to look at all the things that went wrong, my responses to all the wrongness, and most of all, how will I respond in the future should similar situations come along... and I know they will... What's that saying, 'What ever we don't learn we are doomed to repeat?'
In any case, getting started posting again is harder than I thought...but it had been calling to me for months...and I've so missed all of you.

The tutorial from yesterday, "How to make a purse out of a book" is dedicated to my dear Mitzi...artist extraordinaire and maker of book journals.... I think I will try to make one...a little differently though... I love that a man was doing the tutorial...for a minute I fantasized about AH being the star of that tutorial... "YUM!" it would then make him the perfect man, well, ok, maybe not perfect, but.... ERRRRCKKKKK... ok, sorry reeling it back in... You have to admit there's nothing sexier than an 'art man', hmmmm...clarify...during the day he's going to have to be a construction worker or a fireman or some other manly profession, I like a manly man with a dash of sensitive creativity...but he can't like handbags and shoes more than me. LOL I've gone to far...

I hope to catch up and visit all of you sooner rather than later...I hope you have a blessed day! XOXO Keke


Tracy Suzanne said...

Hey Sweetie! I haven't been getting your post lately so I re-signed up. Don't know what happened. I just decided to pop over today and saw that I'd missed one already. I am so, so happy to see you back. You sound like you're feeling alot better. I'm looking forward to peeking into all your little boxes. Now I have to go check out your previous post.

Lots of love and good wishes...Tracy :)

Anonymous said...

yeah you're out there "somewhere beneath the still blue sky" fievel goes west I think...Oh how good it is to hear from you dear one to you mitzi
p.s. call me I have news

Terri said...

Just dropped in to say Hi! and see what's what...I like your lady in pink... I wouldn't mind looking like her either.
Terri G.

Patti said...

Welcome back Keke!!! We are here whenever you need us- remember that. Baby steps...a little at a time- it's the best way. Life moves on whether we are ready for it to or not- take it as it comes...and I love your idea of the little boxes and only peeking into one a day. Take care and again- so very glad you are back!

Tracy Suzanne said...

Hey Keke. Thank you for being so sweet and your offer of help. It was so nice to hear from you. I really have missed you so much and thought of you so often. I feared I wasn't going to hear from you again.

A little secret confession. I try to make excuses but also have that the truth was just intensifying in her. She has been very self center and selfish with her own family. Hence, how Neil is with me, is a direct result. I know that sounds aweful.

We actually have someone come in to give her baths and it's now gotten to sponge bathing, not because she can't get out of bed but because of how combative she has become. Today she left her bedroom and refused to leave the dining room table. Neil closed the blinds and left me and the care worker and went outside. I literally had to hold her by the wrist to the table so the girl could clean her. She refused to stand up, cursed me like crazy. It was a living nightmare. I was shaking so bad it made me sick to my stomach. I then had to go stand her up at the chair while holding her just to have her bottom clean. I felt like we were taking her dignity but she left us no choice. For three days Neil and I had begged her to let us or me clean her up after running her (diaper) I hate to use that word, and her sheets and she had still refused. We had to get her clean. There is an organization that said they would except her into daycare but Neil has yet to let her go or allow anyone to stay while we leave. You know my situation. He is not going to care what I say or show any real gratitude. Gosh this should have been a private email. My fault - I'm here (both home and blogging) ha. Anyway, your prayers and loving words mean so much. God Bless You Love!
Thank you for being such a good friend.

All my love, Tracy :)

Patti said...

Hi Keke! Thank you so much for your last comment- I still am so glad you are "back" School has started and it's been really hard to get back into the swing of things blogging wise but I am trying. Your comments are always so insightful and so sweet and I so appreciate them! I hope you are doing ok and hope that you post again soon- miss you!

Whimsicalnotions said...

WElcome home dear Keke i too have returned after months away.So much has happened so much is still unresolved but i have missed you and my other blogging friends,
Thinking of you
ps just posted my sons wedding a tale both good and sad will tell you in a private email